Most couples don't go into divorce imagining that they will be at each other's throats at some point. Unfortunately, if couples fail to make some conscious decisions meant to avoid strife and legal chaos, that is exactly what can happen. Couples that take the below steps seriously may end up having a divorce that is peaceful, thoughtful, and may even be less expensive.
Put Your Children First
You and your spouse will need to form some agreements to deal with the minor-aged children of the marriage. A parenting plan includes making decisions about custody, visitation, and child support. Divorcing with children already presents parents with many opportunities to go to war and the effects of that on the children can be devastating. Keep the happiness of your children at the heart of every decision you make and you cannot go wrong. You must also realize that what is best for your children may not be what is best for yourself. If you end up taking a custody issue to court, the judge is bound to put the needs of the child first when making decisions. If you and your spouse cannot agree on these important issues, another way of putting your child first is to use a neutral third-party mediator to help you arrive at decisions. This manner of dispute resolution works to bring you and your spouse together in a positive atmosphere.
Don't Play the Blame Game
No one wins at the blame game. Facing divorce with the attitude of parting peacefully can mean more agreement and decreases the chances of strife. That doesn't mean that you should not address and deal with the anger, hurt, and sadness that might come with the ending of a relationship. Each party should consider the need for mental health counseling. It does mean that the divorce process is a place to air out your emotions. Most states have eliminated fault or grounds when it comes to divorce. That means that there is probably nothing to be gained by accusations of cheating, gambling, drug use, and more in the courtroom. If you have proof of bad behavior, however, you should not hesitate to use that to influence child custody and marital debt decisions, if appropriate.
Prioritize Your Issues
One of your first acts as you begin the divorce process should be to make a list of what is really important to you. You should focus on issues that mean the most and that will have the most impact on you going forward. Doing so will keep you from getting distracted over the myriad of divorce issues that are bound to arise. Prioritizing also makes it easier to know what you are willing to compromise on and what your bottom-line must-haves are. For example, you might make having sole physical custody of the children, getting certain pieces of marital property, and other issues more important in your plan than custody of the family pet, the family home, etc. You cannot have it all and deciding what to focus on will make your path through the divorce easier and more satisfactory.
Speak to your divorce attorney to learn more.
Hello, I'm Phillip Kerr and I just love the legal profession and courtroom drama. Have you ever watched judge shows on TV? I know that these shows are not an accurate representation of the courtroom, but there is something you may have noticed. Some individuals come into the courtroom well-dressed, articulate, respectful and with the knowledge and documents necessary to support a case, while others come unprepared, slovenly dressed and appear as if they do not have a care in the world. How you present yourself and the knowledge that you have of the law will have an impact on how you are treated, even if you have legal representation. This blog is designed to assist those who are going to trial in doing just that.